If you are sharing custody of your children, holidays and birthdays can sometimes be a sticky subject. At first, these events can be difficult. However, there are ways to make everything a little easier. Over time, you all may be able to have a fun, comfortable celebration. Here are some tips to having an amicable and pleasant event for your children:
Make a Parenting Agreement
One of the first things parents should do after a divorce is put together a solid parenting agreement. This agreement will state the plans for how the family will celebrate holidays and birthdays. It should also include how changes in the schedule are to be handled should something come up for one of the parents. You can have a child custody lawyer, such as from Nelson Law Group PC, help you negotiate.
Come Together for Major Events
If you can, try to come together for major events and holidays. Once you all have begun to heal, try to spend the children's birthdays together at a neutral place, such as a kid's pizza restaurant or amusement park. It is often very healthy for the children not to have to split those important times in their lives between their parents.
Be Sure to Always Follow Through with Promises
If you have made some special promises to your children regarding a holiday or event, you need to make sure you follow through with them. If you planned to take your children trick-or-treating on Halloween, you need to be sure you keep your word. If you can't take them, and your former spouse has other plans, you are going to have really disappointed children. This could damage the trust they have for you.
Start New Traditions
While it would be nice to keep the old family traditions, you need to recognize that those are no longer the same. This is the time to start your own traditions with your children. You could take them out to get a Christmas tree followed with hot chocolate at a popular coffee shop, for example, to change it up. Think of some fun things you can do with your child that are special to them and to you.
When in Doubt, Celebrate Twice
If you and your former spouse just cannot come together and work out a way to celebrate big events together, you can always have two celebrations. If this is going to be your plan, you need to plan well in advance so that the two of you don't plan events on the same day or weekend. Having two parties can be beneficial to children, as it solidifies the fact that they have two homes and new traditions to look forward to.
Big events are really special for children, so it is important that the parents can get along as much as possible. Always make sure that you both are able to effectively communicate the wants and needs of the kids, and try to be as flexible as possible.
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